Welcome to hell!!!

Hello everybody. I guess I was too optimistic on hoping on big things for me and Shelly. Yesterday I called her a few times to see what time she wanted to go to the movie, I left a message saying to call me back figuring she was probably working. So as expected, I get a call from her midway through my sleep, and I think she can tell I was hoping for a relationship but she wanted to let me know its the worst time for her to have one, and gives me the "lets just be friends" thing, and I completely understand where she was coming from but I just let things like that get to me too much. We still went to the movies together, but I just felt out of it and really didn't know how to act. I didn't even really get that much of a chance to have a good talk to her as she had to leave for work right after the movie. I don't know, maybe things will work out better in the long run, I have no idea cuz I never really been in a true relationship before. I came home......just felt weird.....and crappy........I probably could have done a whole lot more with my big five days off, but I felt like I wasted them....but right now I just want to get some sleep...............................FUCK ME!!!