Sunday, February 22, 2004
Hello everybody...2/3's of the way thru the weekend so far. I forgot to mention on my last entry that on Thursday I did go to the mall and picked up a couple of new books to read at Waldenbooks. I picked up the latest two from Chuck Palanuick. He's a pretty good author, so far I've enjoyed 3 of the 4 books I've read from him (Survivor being the best, Choke and Fight Club are also great reads, but I couldn't even get into Invisible Monsters and gave up on it halfway thru). I picked up his latest two on Thursday.....Lullaby (which I heard a bit of good reviews on so I'm expecting it to rock), and Diary. Good to have something to read again.
On Friday, Chris came over and we played some Halo, and NBA Jam, along with Joey. He also showed us the new Unreal Tournament 2004 demo....looks pretty damn good I must say. The vehicles look to be a good addition to the series nonetheless. After he left, I went to the video store and rented American Wedding and watched it with Joe. A damn good laugh like the rest of 'em, the bachelor party scene totally kicked ass :D I'm gonna have to say this is the best one out of them all. I just wished they released them as a trilogy so I could buy em all at one lower price since I don't have the others. I then monkeyed around with my DVD burner and burned my first music CD. Later on, for some reason, I decided to order the Friends box set online of the complete first six seasons for $180. I only caught about say 15 episodes of the whole series but it was always a show I liked and gives me a lot of new stuff to watch when I'm out on my own again. Yup, I decided not to long ago I'll be finding my own place again.....this time by myself (tho whole roommate ordeal was a freaking train wreck I only lasted about 8 months in, I might post how it all went down in a future Blog). I'm planning getting on my own again around late May to early June. I know I don't have a Career goal set at all, but I need to get the fuck outta my mom's house, as I need my own space and just my own damn time to figure out what I need to do with my life.
Saturday was a very interesting day. First took Joey out to eat at KFC, then came home and did a little cleaning around the house (vacuuming, taking out trash). Then I went on a walk that seemed like 3 hours long, but it was really 1 hour and 15 minutes. The weather is actually starting to warm up now, for the past week or so we've been in the 20's and 30's and is much better than the -20's and -30's we were in a few weeks ago. But anyways, I had a lotta shit on my mind that I need to sort out cuz it was eating me up inside. My mind was still set on Aubree, and weather or not I should tell her if I like her and see if there's any chance of us getting together. I was listening to Everclear's "Slow Motion Day Dream" and Limp Bizkit's "Significant Other" albums to see if they could help influence me, but it was like I phased out the music on my headphones throughout my 1 hour+ walk as my mind was on a slump.
I decided when I arrived back home I'd give my older brother, Bob, and my sister in Arkansas, Ann calls to talk to and perhaps a little advice as both are in successful relationships. There was no answer from my sister. I did get ahold of Bob, and I talked to him for a good half hour. I got a lot of good insight and perspective on his take of the situation. He told me things to be on the lookout for like eye contact that I never took for granted before. He told me I should definitely give her a call and tell her how I feel. I didn't think he could, but Bob motivated me to get off my shy ass and tell her how I feel. So I gave her a call, and of course I was nervous as hell, but dammit I was gonna do this. I was like 'ya, I feel all fucking weird....I went out for like a two hour walk' and she sounded concerned of course and was like 'what happened' and all, but then I heard voices in the background and was 'im not interrupting you am I?' and she said, 'no, its just me and a few friends are drinking, why don't you come over.' So I said it like Garth off of Wayne's World all hesitant like "Ya, I'll come over." So I was nervous as hell and I wanted to tell this gal how I felt and instead I went and got sloshed. Thank God her new boyfriend wasn't there. We played some cool drinking games dubbed 'Moose' and 'Bullshit' that I'm definitely am going to have to keep in mind for future parties. That only lasted for about an hour or so but I wasn't complaining as the alcohol was helping me loosen up a little at the very least.
Anywho, her friends lived about an hour outta town and left for the night, and as soon as they left she went on to say 'so what all was going on with you and that walk you were talking about.' And I very nervously said what was going on with me and told her I liked her a lot, and that I know she was already in another dating relationship but my feelings were eating me up inside and I had to tell her how I felt and asked if by any chance that she and Matt (her new boyfriend) go their own ways that if there would be any chance of us forming a dating relationship. She replied "I would have to say no, because....." and kinda trailed off as she said she couldn't find the words for it but I said them for her to the effect of "Because I'm not the right guy for you" then she went "yeah, well no...uhh...I'm trying to date guys not my type, and you're my type, well.....Matt's my type too, but......." and was all confused and trailed off again but I knew where she was getting at, but I felt fucking bad for putting her on the spot like that, and it didn't help that she was just fucking hot as hell that night too!!!!! Gah, I felt like shit of course, and she said the thing I hate hearing the most "I hope you're still up for being just friends" and I said "yes" of course. We played games for about an hour afterwards, but for the whole time I felt like shit and like she was only hanging out with me out of pity. As I left I made sure at least to get the last word when I said "thanks tho for telling me the truth instead of something else to make me feel good." She just kinda looked down and had this weird ass grin on her face. She probably didn't even give a fuck, but be damned if I wasn't leaving without the last word!
I honestly wasn't expecting that tho, I thought she woulda said there could have been a good chance for us in the future cuz of all the shit we talked to each other about and how she was actually the only gal I can ever relate to. So this rejection hurted the worse (tho its not really that bad cuz she's only the 5th gal I ever asked out, which is really sad considering I'm almost 21), but I will have to deal with it and get over it. But one thing is for sure, and that it is going to be interesting to see how we converse on the upcoming work week. Man, this is probably my longest Blog entry I had for the 6 months I've been doing this, but it is definitely the most interesting one out of them all, and if you managed to read all of this and enjoyed it, then thank ya very much. I wish I had my comments thing working from Squakbox, but I can't figure out the coding. For any of you that wish to leave comments or advice on this situation, please send them to dale@vgpub.com Latez!
On Friday, Chris came over and we played some Halo, and NBA Jam, along with Joey. He also showed us the new Unreal Tournament 2004 demo....looks pretty damn good I must say. The vehicles look to be a good addition to the series nonetheless. After he left, I went to the video store and rented American Wedding and watched it with Joe. A damn good laugh like the rest of 'em, the bachelor party scene totally kicked ass :D I'm gonna have to say this is the best one out of them all. I just wished they released them as a trilogy so I could buy em all at one lower price since I don't have the others. I then monkeyed around with my DVD burner and burned my first music CD. Later on, for some reason, I decided to order the Friends box set online of the complete first six seasons for $180. I only caught about say 15 episodes of the whole series but it was always a show I liked and gives me a lot of new stuff to watch when I'm out on my own again. Yup, I decided not to long ago I'll be finding my own place again.....this time by myself (tho whole roommate ordeal was a freaking train wreck I only lasted about 8 months in, I might post how it all went down in a future Blog). I'm planning getting on my own again around late May to early June. I know I don't have a Career goal set at all, but I need to get the fuck outta my mom's house, as I need my own space and just my own damn time to figure out what I need to do with my life.
Saturday was a very interesting day. First took Joey out to eat at KFC, then came home and did a little cleaning around the house (vacuuming, taking out trash). Then I went on a walk that seemed like 3 hours long, but it was really 1 hour and 15 minutes. The weather is actually starting to warm up now, for the past week or so we've been in the 20's and 30's and is much better than the -20's and -30's we were in a few weeks ago. But anyways, I had a lotta shit on my mind that I need to sort out cuz it was eating me up inside. My mind was still set on Aubree, and weather or not I should tell her if I like her and see if there's any chance of us getting together. I was listening to Everclear's "Slow Motion Day Dream" and Limp Bizkit's "Significant Other" albums to see if they could help influence me, but it was like I phased out the music on my headphones throughout my 1 hour+ walk as my mind was on a slump.
I decided when I arrived back home I'd give my older brother, Bob, and my sister in Arkansas, Ann calls to talk to and perhaps a little advice as both are in successful relationships. There was no answer from my sister. I did get ahold of Bob, and I talked to him for a good half hour. I got a lot of good insight and perspective on his take of the situation. He told me things to be on the lookout for like eye contact that I never took for granted before. He told me I should definitely give her a call and tell her how I feel. I didn't think he could, but Bob motivated me to get off my shy ass and tell her how I feel. So I gave her a call, and of course I was nervous as hell, but dammit I was gonna do this. I was like 'ya, I feel all fucking weird....I went out for like a two hour walk' and she sounded concerned of course and was like 'what happened' and all, but then I heard voices in the background and was 'im not interrupting you am I?' and she said, 'no, its just me and a few friends are drinking, why don't you come over.' So I said it like Garth off of Wayne's World all hesitant like "Ya, I'll come over." So I was nervous as hell and I wanted to tell this gal how I felt and instead I went and got sloshed. Thank God her new boyfriend wasn't there. We played some cool drinking games dubbed 'Moose' and 'Bullshit' that I'm definitely am going to have to keep in mind for future parties. That only lasted for about an hour or so but I wasn't complaining as the alcohol was helping me loosen up a little at the very least.
Anywho, her friends lived about an hour outta town and left for the night, and as soon as they left she went on to say 'so what all was going on with you and that walk you were talking about.' And I very nervously said what was going on with me and told her I liked her a lot, and that I know she was already in another dating relationship but my feelings were eating me up inside and I had to tell her how I felt and asked if by any chance that she and Matt (her new boyfriend) go their own ways that if there would be any chance of us forming a dating relationship. She replied "I would have to say no, because....." and kinda trailed off as she said she couldn't find the words for it but I said them for her to the effect of "Because I'm not the right guy for you" then she went "yeah, well no...uhh...I'm trying to date guys not my type, and you're my type, well.....Matt's my type too, but......." and was all confused and trailed off again but I knew where she was getting at, but I felt fucking bad for putting her on the spot like that, and it didn't help that she was just fucking hot as hell that night too!!!!! Gah, I felt like shit of course, and she said the thing I hate hearing the most "I hope you're still up for being just friends" and I said "yes" of course. We played games for about an hour afterwards, but for the whole time I felt like shit and like she was only hanging out with me out of pity. As I left I made sure at least to get the last word when I said "thanks tho for telling me the truth instead of something else to make me feel good." She just kinda looked down and had this weird ass grin on her face. She probably didn't even give a fuck, but be damned if I wasn't leaving without the last word!
I honestly wasn't expecting that tho, I thought she woulda said there could have been a good chance for us in the future cuz of all the shit we talked to each other about and how she was actually the only gal I can ever relate to. So this rejection hurted the worse (tho its not really that bad cuz she's only the 5th gal I ever asked out, which is really sad considering I'm almost 21), but I will have to deal with it and get over it. But one thing is for sure, and that it is going to be interesting to see how we converse on the upcoming work week. Man, this is probably my longest Blog entry I had for the 6 months I've been doing this, but it is definitely the most interesting one out of them all, and if you managed to read all of this and enjoyed it, then thank ya very much. I wish I had my comments thing working from Squakbox, but I can't figure out the coding. For any of you that wish to leave comments or advice on this situation, please send them to dale@vgpub.com Latez!
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